Monday, April 21, 2008

Three Little Birds

Today was a Bob Marley day. By that, I mean I would hum or sing one of his songs when I started thinking about the tornado in my head: an issue with work that I wanted to take care of first thing, Lisa Marie still in the ICU, the fight my brain and my heart continue to have. To remedy this, I blared Three Little Birds from the stereo as I got ready for work.

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Two out of three isn't so bad. The work issue is mostly resolved, but it was somewhat frustrating to get through all the steps. Fortunately, I've some support in a handful of coworkers and they help me navigate all the procedures and drama that comes up.

On my way to visit Lisa Marie, I played No Woman No Cry. I know the song has only to do with hard times Bob had, but the chorus is really all everyone remembers.

My feet is my only carriage,
So I've got to push on through.
But while I'm gone:

No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
Woman, little darlin', say don't shed no tears;
No, woman, no cry.
I don't think there are many people who like to visit hospitals. The smell, the despair, the pain. (Unless you're visiting the newborns in L&D, which makes almost everyone smile.) Try as I might, I couldn't stop my shoulders from tensing up as I walked in, preparing myself for the ICU party. I was doom and gloom for no good reason: Lisa Marie was being prepped to be moved back down to the post-surgery floor which means she should be able to start physical therapy by the end of the week if there are no further complications. Good times all around, boo-hooing for nothing. I can't help it. I am a natural worry-wart and all around spaz. I do feel a lot better about her health today, but there are still other hurdles for her to jump.

As for the other topic of torture... I give you Satisfy My Soul.
(Satisfy my soul) You satisfy my soul (satisfy my soul);
You satisfy my soul (satisfy my soul).
Every little action (satisfy my soul),
there's a reaction (satisfy my soul).
Oh, can't you see what you've done for me, oh, yeah!
I am happy inside all - all of the time. Wo-oo-o-oo!
There's an interesting theory brought up to me by a wise elder not so long ago, that my heart can withstand all the tears and breaks because I learn more about myself and what I can endure. And while I want to wave the one-fingered salute high and say, 'fuck it all,' it's been true this far. I'll still curse life, karma and God (there's a couple of guys who have really done a number on me), but I continue to think in puppies and rainbows about the whole thing and hope that someday, someone will be up for the challenge.

No comments: