Unwritten

I need to reconsider reading horror fiction before bed; sometimes that crap lingers in the back of my mind and causes me to jump out of bed when the alarm goes off thinking I'm a vampire hunter. Otherwise not a bad start to the day.

Spent some time reading blogs during the day (yes, while at work...I know) trying to read up on first-time home buying, healthy dinner recipes, decadent cupcakes, personal finance, and mind-numbing entertainment gossip. Some useful sites I came across are:

Lifehacker has 'Top Ten Ways to Trick Yourself into Saving Money.' I was glad to see that some of my 'crazy' tactics were listed: waiting period, high-interest saving, 'crap I don't need' list. Awesome. If it weren't for the new job, I'd not be able to 'splurge' on cable and Netflix. And while one poster recommended online gaming as an alternative to going out to the bar twice a week, I think I'll just make sure my movies are in on Fridays and go to the Saucer every other Friday. And skip the $8 salad.

How It Sucks allows for you to post, well, how much a product sucks. I find myself looking for really nasty reviews, but have yet to find something scathing. Just reading up on a Sony Bravia 46" LCD, which is on my 'crap I don't need' list. :-)

Wesabe is a personal finance site I like to use just because the idea that it uses kittens to calm you down when you are examining your finances and start to wig out a little. (You have to sign up to see the kittens.) Damn, this is a site I wish I had come up with.

***
I began this post at the tail end of m lunch hour. If only I had stayed at my desk for a few minutes after five I wouldn't have:

• been given a speeding ticket for driving 60 in a 45 zone on an access road by the gym. I was completely lost in my own thoughts and didn't see 5-o waiting on the other side of the hill. What thoughts was I lost in? Honestly, I was having a mental pity party on my way to the gym and the ticket only served to push me closer to the edge. I was so angry and distracted at the gym, I had to talk myself into shuffling on the treadmill for 30 minutes.

• about to beat some crazy girl's face in for tailing me from the gym to the grocery store thinking I was the woman her stupid BF was cheating with. What the hell? Walks up and starts POUNDING on my window. Needless to say, I was livid and words were exchanged. I was really debating whether to call the police (maybe Officer Ticket would respond) or get in Crazy's face. As I'm dialing 911, she stops, looks closer and REALIZES SHE HAS THE WRONG PERSON. :-| Had I not been so dumbfounded, I would have gotten out of the car and who knows what. I explain to the operator that the situation had been resolved and Crazy takes off.

I'm not going to lie, I sat in my car for a few minutes and cried. Did my shopping, came home, ate some chicken (! almost burned out on chicken!), sat in the tub for an hour.

Come to think of it, curling up with Grendel and a vampire novel sounds good right about now.

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Patience

I had my measurements taken with my trainer today. I dropped an inch and a half...from my already small chest. :-| No more weight or body fat loss, more bicep muscle. I've hit another wall. Now it's on to the next step: low/no carbs after 7. (Did I mention my boobs are now smaller?) Good excuse to have a huge breakfast and lunch. Down to one beer on Fridays for at least a month, with a salad. Sundays will be the cheat day, with something super yummy (I'll be damned if I have to buy smaller bras).

To add insult to my self-esteem, I realized I need to wear my clear mouth guard at night because I'm grinding my teeth again. Feh.

Time to scour the 'net for low carb dinners (have I mentioned how hard it is to cook food in small portions?)

• Gingery Grilled Chicken and Peaches

• Broiled Orange-Chili Chicken Breasts
  

• Chicken Salad with Tarragon

• Chicken Saltimbocca

Will attempt to go get groceries tomorrow. Thursday will be a test of my wills when I go have dinner with some friends.

...yet another out of context music reference...

Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine

Changes

Weirdest thing made me laugh today: while I was sitting out on the balcony
having my lunch and reading, it began to rain. There were two people at the
table next to me, having an intense and fascinating conversation:

She: Is it raining?
He: Uh huh.
A minute goes by.
Rain comes down a bit harder
She: It's raining harder, huh?
He: Sure is.

:-|

I really didn't think that a workout this weekend was going to happen. A girl can hope, can't she? In any case, the trip to Eagle Pass went as expected. Got to spend time with Dad to celebrate his 60th birthday (but I didn't order his present with enough time to arrive, typical) and see two grandmothers and a grandfather. Grandma C I lovingly refer to as Grandma Yoda, as she has the same stature and witticisms as the Jedi Master. In fact, she laughed often to herself while we were having lunch yesterday. I wish she would have shared the joke; it seemed like she was having a blast.

As for my other relatives, I saw Dad's brothers and sisters and realized that this was another mortality check; they are getting older, and logically so am I. At least I didn't have to sit at the kids table. Oh, and only two people gave me relationship advice. (Guess they didn't hear me when I said I wasn't dating anyone.)

Gym today, made it in time for yoga. Crap, my shoulders are killing me. Just when I start to think that I'm somewhat fit, my yoga instructor throws me for a loop. Breathe in, breathe out. Ever notice that you fart more when you are exercising? I've asked a few people who wouldn't think I was completely nuts, and they have experienced ' the cardio toot.' Random, I know.

In a continuing effort to change things up, I am auditioning to become a Geeks Who Drink quizmaster. I think it's half an effort to try something new, half an effort to get over the anxiety of talking in front of people. Yes, I know that last part may come as a surprise to some of you. But it's true; I remember participating in Oratory competitions when I was younger and would always have an anxiety attack before, during and after. Let's add this to my list of masochistic behavior and call it a day.

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test


Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

Save It For Later

Sooner or later
Your legs give way, you hit the ground
Save it for later
Don't run away and let me down

This was my cool down song after my 20-minute interval run today, it gave me double motivation: it's going to be a hard and painful road to get to 13 miles but I'm not giving up, and to understand that not everyone can or wants to get back up after being knocked down. Can't hold my breath forever.

Monday: 1.5 miles interval, core
Tuesday: 5 miles elliptical, 1 hour with trainer
Wednesday: rest
Thursday: early happy hour
Friday: 1.5 miles interval, upper body

Off to Eagle Pass tomorrow. I need to get one more run in over the weekend and before I indulge in lots of home cooking.

Under Pressure

Monday: no gym. Dad and Mom were here, and I had to get home to cut the grass before they did. They were almost done in the time it took me to get home from work.

Tuesday: Trainer has to reschedule as she is having morning sickness all day. I complete my 20-minute interval jog and rack up almost a mile and half. Also completed upper-body strength training.

Wednesday: Friend cancels dinner plans. Worked out for 30 minutes on the elliptical, racking up 3 miles. So much easier, but not the goal. Completed core training.

Thursday: No workout, drinks at Kona.

Friday: Should have worked out, drinks at The Flying Saucer and movie night.

Saturday: Just enough time to meet the girls for a fun-filled afternoon. Strength training at home after snacking.

Sunday: Interval jogging around the neighborhood. This was a bad idea as it was 300% humidity outside. I manages 12 minutes before realizing I was soaked in sweat and was struggling to breathe.

Let's see how next week pans out.

In the meantime: Kitten entertainment

Overkill

"I cant get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications ...

Its time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation

At least theres pretty lights
And though theres little variation
It nullifies the night
From overkill"

I hadn't heard this song in a really long time until this morning on my way to work, Sirius channel 8 (The 80s) reminded me how awesome Men At Work is. On top of that, I was struck by the lyrics. Sure, we've all been told that we shouldn't worry about the things we can't control, focus on the things we can influence. Try telling that to your sub-conscience when you're trying to sleep and could keep thinking about something or someone.

What's keeping me awake...lack of vocation, complicated emotions, over caffeinated delusions. You know, the usual.

Today also begins my couch-to-5k training plan. As I've been making good progress at the gym, I decided I needed another goal to work on for the next year. My friend Carla inspired me after she decided to sign up for the San Antonio Rock and Roll Marathon to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. So in addition to helping her raise $2k, I figured I'd get my own unproductive ass and train to join her next year. I think next year is a good goal, I can't imagine I'll be able to pull 13 miles out of my ass by this November much less the entire 26. However, I think I can at the very least attempt something smaller this year. My first milestone, I've decided, will be Soler's Sports Missions 1/2 Marathon, 10K & 5K on October 11, emphasis on the 5K. This is to be followed in March with the Komen Race For the Cure; no walking for m next year! It's quite possible I've gone nuts.

I began my first day with a 25 minute mix of running and walking. Managed almost a mile and half, maxed my heart rate at 182. That's impressive for me who typically starts wheezing at 150 on the elliptical. Three miles in eight weeks. Thirteen mies in 52. Who knows what will be next.

Amanda

I dragged Luz with me to the Smashmouth/Styx/Boston show with me over the weekend and had an absolute blast. Granted, she had no idea who the bands were and it was hot and muggy, but I sang along to every song and left with a giant smile on my face for having the chance to see such a great show.

Smashmouth did a short set of all their radio hits, and even played two Van Halen songs. Styx did a longer set, although I was slightly disappointed that they didn’t play MR. ROBOTO, LADY, or BABE. Either way, the music was so good. And then of course Boston. How cool is it that a super fan is currently the lead singer? He nailed it.

The highlight of the night for me, however, was Michael Sweet (of the band Stryper, remember Jesus glam rock) singing AMANDA. Yeah, that was awesome. Of course, it’s my secret girl hope that someone will sing this song to me.